Ever since Daylight
Savings Time ended I’ve been feeling like the workdays just drag on. So every time the weekend rolls around I get
soooo happy! But this weekend is even
better! My big brother, Clockwork, is coming home to celebrate our mom’s
birthday and Thanksgiving. I can’t wait
to spend time with my big bro :-)
Francesca and I had quite
the interesting night last night. We
went for a drive in the countryside, in which I tried to tell her how much she
means to me. I said, “You know, Francesca,
you’re an awesome friend. I’ve been
depressed and you brought me things to cheer me up and spent time with me. I love you – you’re a great
friend.” Heartfelt. Sincere.
That’s what I was going for, anyway.
But because Francesca is a
cold and unfeeling cockface, she responded to my outpouring with raucous
sardonic laughter and said “Really?
We’re going to do this?”
Well, I guess not.
We also had many
margaritas and free chicken wings at a restaurant known for its free chicken
wings on Thursday nights and for its lousy service. (You can read about the first time we went there and how awesome we used to think it was if you click here.) We visited our friend, The Green Giant and played with his
adorable pit bulls while his band played guitar riffs and talked about
music. I stole a baby from his spider
plant as we walked out the door and then Francesca and I joked about how I had
just raped the plant.
Because rape jokes are
only funny when you’re stealing spider plant babies.
After all of these
adventures we ended up in the basement of my barpartment where we met friends
for cheap beer and laughter. What ended
up happening goes against the content of the last two posts – because what
happens when you say you’re going to take a break from dating? A cute (but
significantly older) man strikes up a conversation with you at a bar.
Francesca and I had this
conversation today:
Me:
So… was that guy last
night cute or did I have major beer goggles on?
Francesca:
Too funny, I was just
about to email you and ask about your new friend. He was decent looking.
How late did you stay at the bar talking to him?
Also, you raped a plant
last night.
Me:
LMAO I went into my
kitchen this morning (Which, by the way is an even bigger looking disaster
after drunkenyl making Asian Cabbage Salad at 1am in the morning for my work potluck today.) and saw my little
spider plant seedling sitting in a cup of water to sprout and I was like “Oh
yeah, that’s right. I pillaged a plant
of its baby last night.” I wonder if
they have separation anxiety…
And I was in the bar until
about 12:15 talking to him. Then I said
I had to call it a night and he walked out with me. I went to my car to get the stuff for my cabbage salad (which I
almost had forgotten about) and he walked with me. He asked for my phone number and then we hugged. I think he wanted to kiss me but I dodged it
– I’m not a kissing hussy… most of the time.
We’ll see if he texts me.
Francesca:
LOL nice. I thought you were “taking a break” from
dating – like, as of yesterday.
Then you go and give your number out!
Me:
1. He asked me for
it. I did not “give it out”. You make it sound like I’m walking around
with a billboard that says: “TO DATE ME, CALL: 563-XXX-XXXX”
2. I didn’t kiss him.
3. I will not pursue
anything with him, but if he pursues me, what’s a girl to do?
Francesca:
4. Plus, he was cute.
Me:
Right??
Francesca:
And you were talking guns
with him at the bar.
Me:
Hahahaha I am a charmer,
thankyouverymuch. I actually forgot
about that. I need to use that as a
conversation starter again…if only I could remember how that
conversation got started… but I know it ended with me showing him the picture
of us with like 5 billion guns.
Francesca:
I really wanted to stay in
bed this morning and was totally jealous that The Bear got to go back to
bed. Jerk.
Me:
The Bear didn’t have to
work today? That’s good since he was
dancing to Gangnam Style – outside the front door of the bar. By himself.
Francesca:
Yes, that is the man I
love - dancing to Gangnam Style outside of a bar on a Thursday night at 10pm.
Me:
You two are perfect for
each other.
So our security system is
acting up and the reactions are hilarious.
This morning we got an email telling us the doors on first floor weren’t
unlocking so if you were down there and wanted to come up you should use the
elevator. So Rachel wasn’t very happy
about this because, you know, she’s afraid of spontaneously becoming pregnant and giving birth while trapped in an elevator.
She also said “I hope they’re fixed by 3 so we will be able to leave!” I
explained that we can still get out.
This afternoon we got an
email telling us the elevator isn’t working either. So now everyone is freaking out about not being able to
leave. I pretty much yelled at everyone
and said, “This place isn’t the Hotel California, people! Calm down!”
Francesca:
You can clock out anytime
you like, but you can never leave!
~~~~~~~~~
Have a great weekend everyone!
Kissykissy,
Annie Jay
Oh, if you saw his dancing it would have warmed your heart and made you love him all the more - the drunken bearded man doing the little giddyup dance.. not bad ;-p
ReplyDeletehaha, "the drunken bearded man doing the little giddyup dance". that description just won me over! :)
ReplyDelete