Ever since Daylight Savings Time ended I’ve been feeling like the workdays just drag on. So every time the weekend rolls around I get soooo happy! But this weekend is even better! My big brother, Clockwork, is coming home to celebrate our mom’s birthday and Thanksgiving. I can’t wait to spend time with my big bro :-)
Francesca and I had quite the interesting night last night. We went for a drive in the countryside, in which I tried to tell her how much she means to me. I said, “You know, Francesca, you’re an awesome friend. I’ve been depressed and you brought me things to cheer me up and spent time with me. I love you – you’re a great friend.” Heartfelt. Sincere. That’s what I was going for, anyway.
But because Francesca is a cold and unfeeling cockface, she responded to my outpouring with raucous sardonic laughter and said “Really? We’re going to do this?” Well, I guess not.
We also had many margaritas and free chicken wings at a restaurant known for its free chicken wings on Thursday nights and for its lousy service. (You can read about the first time we went there and how awesome we used to think it was if you click here.) We visited our friend, The Green Giant and played with his adorable pit bulls while his band played guitar riffs and talked about music. I stole a baby from his spider plant as we walked out the door and then Francesca and I joked about how I had just raped the plant.
Because rape jokes are only funny when you’re stealing spider plant babies.
After all of these adventures we ended up in the basement of my barpartment where we met friends for cheap beer and laughter. What ended up happening goes against the content of the last two posts – because what happens when you say you’re going to take a break from dating? A cute (but significantly older) man strikes up a conversation with you at a bar.
Francesca and I had this conversation today:
So… was that guy last night cute or did I have major beer goggles on?
Too funny, I was just about to email you and ask about your new friend. He was decent looking. How late did you stay at the bar talking to him?
Also, you raped a plant last night.
LMAO I went into my kitchen this morning (Which, by the way is an even bigger looking disaster after drunkenyl making Asian Cabbage Salad at 1am in the morning for my work potluck today.) and saw my little spider plant seedling sitting in a cup of water to sprout and I was like “Oh yeah, that’s right. I pillaged a plant of its baby last night.” I wonder if they have separation anxiety…
And I was in the bar until about 12:15 talking to him. Then I said I had to call it a night and he walked out with me. I went to my car to get the stuff for my cabbage salad (which I almost had forgotten about) and he walked with me. He asked for my phone number and then we hugged. I think he wanted to kiss me but I dodged it – I’m not a kissing hussy… most of the time. We’ll see if he texts me.
LOL nice. I thought you were “taking a break” from dating – like, as of yesterday. Then you go and give your number out!
1. He asked me for it. I did not “give it out”. You make it sound like I’m walking around with a billboard that says: “TO DATE ME, CALL: 563-XXX-XXXX”
2. I didn’t kiss him.
3. I will not pursue anything with him, but if he pursues me, what’s a girl to do?
4. Plus, he was cute.
And you were talking guns with him at the bar.
Hahahaha I am a charmer, thankyouverymuch. I actually forgot about that. I need to use that as a conversation starter again…if only I could remember how that conversation got started… but I know it ended with me showing him the picture of us with like 5 billion guns.
I really wanted to stay in bed this morning and was totally jealous that The Bear got to go back to bed. Jerk.
The Bear didn’t have to work today? That’s good since he was dancing to Gangnam Style – outside the front door of the bar. By himself.
Yes, that is the man I love - dancing to Gangnam Style outside of a bar on a Thursday night at 10pm.
You two are perfect for each other.
So our security system is acting up and the reactions are hilarious. This morning we got an email telling us the doors on first floor weren’t unlocking so if you were down there and wanted to come up you should use the elevator. So Rachel wasn’t very happy about this because, you know, she’s afraid of spontaneously becoming pregnant and giving birth while trapped in an elevator. She also said “I hope they’re fixed by 3 so we will be able to leave!” I explained that we can still get out.
This afternoon we got an email telling us the elevator isn’t working either. So now everyone is freaking out about not being able to leave. I pretty much yelled at everyone and said, “This place isn’t the Hotel California, people! Calm down!”
You can clock out anytime you like, but you can never leave!
Have a great weekend everyone!