Well kids, the shit definitely hit the fan right after I returned from my (amazingly awesome) vacation to Cabo at the end of February.
The Universe decided to hit me with relationship issues, financial woes and big time life lessons all at the same time. The last three months have been a roller coaster ride for me. Just like when I ride actual roller coasters, my body, mind and spirit have all been shouting “OH NO FUCKING WAY IS THIS GONNA HAPPEN!!” for months now.
Suffice it to say, writing has been a bit difficult. In order to keep myself from slipping into the depression that was earnestly trying to pull me down, I had to suck up every glimmer of positive energy I could generate to keep myself moving forward.
Luckily, I was able to keep myself out of despair and have gleaned some important life lessons from what has happened. And of course, because I love each and every one of you, I want to share those lessons with you!
- Don’t let others drag you down with them. People don’t say, “Misery loves company” just because the words feel nice as they’re coming out of their mouths. People say that shit because it’s true! If someone is feeling miserable, they’re going to do everything they can to get at least one other person down in the dumps with them – oftentimes this will be the person they care about the most. But luckily for you, just like every other party you’re invited to, the invite to the Pity Party is just as easy to decline. Now, I’m not saying you should turn your back on your loved ones in their time of need, but you do need to realize when your help is actually helping and when it’s just enabling a person to dwell more on the “woe is me”. When your friend keeps complaining about the same things over and over again but takes no steps to improve the situation, it’s time for you to spend your energy elsewhere.
- Fuck those negative fuckers. Taking #1 just a step further, sometimes you have to realize when negative thoughts are engraved into the core of someone you care about. I have a friend who always says, “You’ll never be happy at the job you work.” To this I always say a resounding “WTF?” You work something like 1/3 of your living hours (yes, that is a made up statistic). Do you really think that your only option is to spend 1/3 of your life being miserable? When people are resigned to accepting the crap that life throws at them they stop progressing –stop moving forward in their lives. It’s important to be able to pinpoint who these people are in your life and either a) get them out of your life, or b) realize that these are not the people you want to go to when you need help getting over a bump in the road. The most successful people in the world are people who surround themselves with other positive and uplifting people. Try to remove negative influences from your circle as much as possible.
- Don’t try to change other people. I’ve been making this mistake a lot lately. Just because I think I know what someone is doing wrong in their life and just because I think I can see solutions for their problems doesn’t mean I’m right and most importantly, it doesn’t mean I stand a chance of actually helping them to change. Thankfully I have a good friend who reminded me of this point recently. He helped me to remember that people are who they are and there is nothing I can do to force them to be anyone else. I’ll continue to be a cheerleader for their self-improvement but I’m not going to hang my happiness on the contingency that they actually make any of the changes I suggest.
- Most importantly, keep on being you. As long as you’re not hurting other people, don’t let the negativity others hurl at you keep you from being the amazingly kick-ass person you are. Some of us are extremely empathetic so it’s hard not to let the negativity that surrounds us drag us down too. When you encounter these situations it’s important to remember the good things in your life. Make a list of the things you love about yourself and keep it posted somewhere if you need a visual reminder.
So my life is turning around. I’ve got some great things going for me and I feel confident that the darkness of the last few months is now behind me. Sure, there are days that I wake up and just want to say, “Fuck it!” to life, but they’re fewer and farther between. I’m going to keep my eyes focused on the goals I have and continue to soak up the positive energy of the people who love me and want the best for me.
Sending positive energy to you all!
Love and kisses,Annie J
PS - I have internet at my apt now! Posting should be more regular from here on out :-)