Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Ups and Downs and Excitement Looming Before Me

Hello my sweets!

You’ve no doubt noticed I’ve been quiet as of late.  A few weeks ago I got a new boss at work and my head has just been spinning.  He’s going to be doing great things for our company and ushering us into a completely new age, but damn it has been a tumultuous ride! 

One of the things I love most about my company is how we’re always growing and changing.  When I started here six years ago we had about twenty people in the home office.  Now, we’re coming up on a hundred and our sales force is even larger than I could have ever anticipated.

However, with that constant growth and change come periods of uncertainty where I feel like I’m trying to keep my head on straight but don’t even know what direction I’m supposed to be looking in.  Whenever this happens I just have to remind myself to ride the wave and try to remember that the changes bring with them awesome new opportunities for me and my colleagues.

In addition to the work stress, I’ve been going through some romantic turmoil and have been considering an amazing change in my living situation. 

The romantic turmoil is over.  Essentially the Replay came back and asked for forgiveness and I realized I’m not really all that capable of moving on, no matter how good his reasons for past mistakes were.  The stress of trying to find it in myself to forgive him and try to move on was actually ruining the happiness I’ve built up over the past few months so I figured that wasn’t a good sign.  No matter how many interests and goals we share, there are only so many times I can beat a dead horse.  

So really, nothing has changed.  

In the meantime I’ve decided to just back off on dating – for real this time.  I’ve deleted the dating website apps from my phone and don’t intend to go back anytime soon.  I’m happy enough right now without a significant other.  Maybe now that I’m in a happy place the man of my dreams will just fall into my lap.  Maybe not.  Either way, I’m happy right now.

The possible amazing change in my living situation is stressful - but in an exciting way.  I mentioned it a few months ago that there’s an awesome new neighborhood in my town and it is calling to me.  MSN also covered it here: From Industrial Wasteland to Hip Hangout.  I put in my application for an apartment two Fridays ago and won’t know for a couple more weeks but I couldn’t be more excited!  As much as I love the Barpartment, I would love to get back downtown. 

These apartments are within walking distance to just about everything I do.  Plus, it’s kind of exhilarating to think about being the first person to live in an apartment.  And the addition of a washer/dryer and dishwasher into my life will be freakin amazing!  Natalia is helping me to stay optimistic about my chances of getting the place and not, I’m sure, because she is just waiting to pounce on the Barpartment as soon as I turn in my 30-day notice ;-p

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

And finally, I’ve also been doing quite a bit of fiction writing.  I usually work on blogs during my break time at work, but the new stories and scenes have been popping into my head most frequently so as soon as my breaks roll around it’s down to writing them I go!  They’re nothing special, but I really appreciate the escape and honest creation that comes when I’m writing stories.  Ever since I was a child I have invented worlds and characters and maybe someday I’ll turn this effort into something more substantial.  For now, I’m just going to continue doing what I love to do!

And holy Jesus it’s February!  Is 2012 flying fast for you all as well? 

Annie Jay


  1. Wow, good luck with all the workplace changes and the apartment! As for the dating, I totally hear you on that. Sometimes you just don't need it, and there's something kind of lovely about that. :)

  2. Thanks! If I'm content for now I might as well enjoy it! Can't keep staring at one thing that's missing when there are so many other great things to see!

  3. Good luck! I have my fingers crossed! I can't believe it's Feb either xx

  4. You have a lot going on! The work stuff is definitely stressful and I always have to remind myself to "ride the wave" as well. It's tough to actually do sometimes. As for the dating thing: I give people a lot, a lot of credit who are able to identify when something really isn't working for them and don't continue to beat that dead horse. It's not easy and I'm glad you got out and didn't stay in something that wasn't great for you. Such a difficult thing to do.

    Good luck with your writing! You must share if you feel comfortable!

    1. It definitely is hard to do sometimes. Just gotta keep a level head and wait for the dust to settle ;-)

      In my relationship with Mr. Diffident I put up with a lot of apathy for years because I couldn’t bring myself to actually end things with him. There was actually a time where I said “Listen, if you don’t want to do this, you’re going to have to break up with me because I love you too much to end it.” Eventually I found the strength to do it, but I’m NEVER going back to being that person!

      And if I get a nice scene written that seems to stand on its own well enough I'll share!

  5. Your life is so full and amazing, that sometimes dating just seems pointless :)

    That MSN article is really interesting, I didn't know much about your city until I read it! Urban planning is so fascinating to me. Fingers crossed on that application.