Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Crossing My Fingers

Before I start my real post –

Dear Makers of Wide-mouth Cans,

Why?  Maybe my mouth is exceptionally small or something but - Dammit! I hate you.

The Girl With The Wet Blouse


So I have that date tonight.  I’m getting a little apprehensive.  I’ve been on so many bad or just completely BLAH dates that I don’t know if I can take another one.  I hope this is at least a fun evening.

This guy and I have been texting like crazy for the last several days and in text he seems pretty decent.  But I kind of hate that – the texting a lot before actually meeting thing.  You start to form a stronger connection before even figuring out what the person is like in real life.  In some cases it’s just fine, but texting affords an ability to be able to think through your responses before everything. 

What if he’s not witty when he’s face to face with me and doesn’t have a Backspace button to save him from making a bad joke?

We haven’t met yet because he doesn’t live in my town.  He’s just an hour and a half away so he’s coming to my town tonight.  This was his suggestion, which was a definite plus – not expecting me to be the first one to travel.  We decided to get a drink somewhere we could sit and chat and get to know each other.  So naturally, I chose Paul’s

Do I know how to wow a guy, or what?

But all of this has got me thinking of what I expect from a relationship if I am to get into one.  

Here’s a little list of what I want in a man:

You have to be fun.  I did the safe and easy doormat relationship in the past.  I want someone who can go out and have fun with me and not make me feel guilty for wanting to be around my totally kickass friends.

You have to be reliable.  Don’t back out on me.  Don’t let me down when I’m in a crunch.  If I really need something (for instance, if my car stops working and I need a ride) and you aren’t doing anything, you’d better get off your ass and come rescue me.

You have to be tidy.  Listen, I can be just as messy – if not messier – than the next person when I’m left to my own devices.  But as soon as I know company is coming, I make sure my house is clean and tidy.  The only time I let anyone see my apartment in an unkempt state is if they’re one of my closest friends.  (Or if, like last Friday night when Han and I were relaxing and watching BSG, friends who were at the bar downstairs decided to come upstairs unannounced and look in all of my closets. *evil stare* You know who you are.)

You have to be smart.  For the love of the gods, please have at least have the ability to carry out intelligent discourse with me. 

You can’t be a douche.  Although I want you to be smart, please don’t be a dick about it.  Well, ok, you can be a dick about it every once in a while, but not all the time, ok? You have to be able to enjoy low-brow things as much as you enjoy the high-brow.

You have to be at least a little geeky.  Or at least appreciate the fact that I am really geeky.  I play video games, I watch/read/write Sci-Fi/Fantasy so I don't want you to expect that to stop.  But I don’t want you to be so geeky that you spend your entire life inside and hide from the sun.  I like the sun, yo.

You have to like spending time with my family and friends.  You have to like at least 75% of them.  They’ve been in my life for a hell of a long time.  If you don’t want to be around them, I probably won’t want to be around you.  You also can't talk bad about them until you've gotten to know them.  Even if I'm mad at them, you just nod and give me hugs, not join in on my bad-mouthing because chances are, I'll get over being mad at them but I might not like the mean things you said about them.

You can’t be overly religious.  I’m sorry, I just don’t do God or the church.  Like, at all.

You have to believe that gay marriage is a civil rights issue.  If you can love me, then men can love other men, and women can love other women.  If you don’t believe that same-sex couples have the same rights as heterosexual couples, your beliefs offend me and I won’t put up with them.

You have to believe that the government has no right to tell a women what to do with her body.  Whether you believe abortion is wrong or not, you should at least understand that the government has no right to tell anyone what they can and cannot do with their body.

You have to be giving.  Give back to your community.  Give back to those in need.  Just give, when you can, please.  (Hint: You can probably give more often than you think you can.)

You can’t be mean and you can’t be a doormat.  I want a person who is assertive in a tactful manner.  I’m assertive as hell and I need someone who is willing to work with me, not control me or let me control them.

So there’s a list of what I’m looking for.  If you think these items pertain to you, please apply for a date in the comment section below.

Much love,
Annie Jay

PS – Wish me luck!


  1. hahaha! "the church" I like that they have to be on-board with gay marriage and, the gov't thing. so so so true!! Have my fingers and toes crossed for you, AJ!

    1. Those are just a couple of things that I can't compromise on. They're issues I consider to be human rights and if we differ on what we consider to be human rights I don't know how we could ever work long-term.

      And thanks!

  2. That is a legit list! I definitely care how a guy feels about gay rights and abortion, and he has to be a little geeky (but also really damn cool). I'm glad this guy is coming all the way to you - as he should. GOOD luck!

    1. Yes - geeky but cool. There's gotta be the balance. My OKCupid profile keeps matching me with LARPERs. I mean, LARPing is cool in theory (come on, we've all wanted to dress up like a wizard or knight and run around at some point in our lives), but it's kind of the epitome of geekdom so you'd better also smoke, rider a Harley and wear a leather jacket to offset the geekery ;-p

    2. Well, at least LARPers are more active than the stereotypical basement-dwelling gamer. And I say that having married a Harley riding mechanic gamer...but I DO know a few of the stereotypes. I wonder if they'll ever get laid.

      I completely agree with your prereqs. Good luck on your date!

    3. That is true, Jess. But all of the ones I keep getting matched with are the more stereotypical variety - the kind that stay indoors any time they're NOT LARPing