This is Halloween!

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Yeeear!

I love Halloween.  I hate to ever pick favorites and, you know, Christmas/NYE are pretty awesome, but seriously dudes – Halloween!!

There’s magic in the air on Halloween.

You can dress as someone completely different and embrace an aspect of yourself that you keep hidden the other 358 days a year (because Halloween is a week-long celebration, obviously). 

I actually lost a friend once because she ragged so hard on Halloween (we made up eventually and now we’re friends again).  I’m not pointing that out to say “Don’t you dare criticize Halloween in front of me”.  I’m pointing it out to say “Don’t you dare criticize Halloween in front of me unless you want to get stabbed in the kidneys and in the face.”  I don’t take Halloween haters lightly.  You’ve been warned.

*ahem* Sorry about that.  I’m a little too murder for my own good some times. *Back to the post*

Since I love Halloween so much, I usually go all out on my costumes. 

This year, I planned to be a phoenix.  Like Dumbledore’s bird, Fawkes, not Jean Grey’s alter-ego.

At the beginning of October, I went on Amazon and purchased roughly $70 worth of ostrich feathers in black, red and orange.  I went to the fabric store and bought more feathers and eight yards of organza and sequined fabric in varying fiery hues.  I made a pretty skirt out of some of the fabric:

The edge of which still needs to be hemmed...

The intent was to make the rest of the costume out of the same fabric and then put feathers everywhere, paint my face to look fiery and have wild hair.

Then I tried sewing the feathers.

Then I said Fuck. That.

Sewing feathers is super hard, time-consuming, and just all around awful.

So I returned everything I could (which was everything other than the fabric I’d already cut up) and last Monday I began to panic about what my Halloween costume would be.

For work, my department is dressing up like the characters from Clue.  It was my idea because even though I don’t know if other people think of it that way, I always feel like Clue is a great Halloween movie.  I’m going as Mrs. White.

I thought I had the appropriate black tube dress in my closet but when I went to put it on, I realized 1.) It was way too short for work and 2.) I looked like a stuffed sausage when I was wearing it.  So once again, I was up a creek without a paddle.

Luckily, the crafting gods were smiling on me and within one of my many boxes of crafting and sewing supplies (I like making things, don’t judge me) I found roughly four yards of a beautiful black fabric that I’ve had around for over a year and had forgotten about entirely. 

I immediately set about making myself a simple tube dress – in the most complicated way possible.  Since I didn’t have a zipper on hand I thought, “Eh, I’ll just get creative with buttons and hook-and-eye closures.”  Yeah, that didn’t work out well.  By Friday night at 7:30, I was at my wit’s end so I decided I had to set it aside, resolving to work on it this week instead when I wasn’t in such a rush.

That’s when I dug out my box of Halloween costumes and found my Mother Nature costume from five years ago.  I also had some lovely green fabric I’d been intending to use for throw pillows but decided to turn into a quick cape instead.  By Friday night at 10:00 I had a fun costume – and it was good!

Saturday, I spent the day cleaning and decorating my apartment for the Halloween party I had that night.  Around 5, I went over to Natalia’s and she did my makeup, which turned out amazingly!

The Halloween party went off well and I don’t think I pissed off my neighbors too much. 

I think it’s safe to say a good time was had by all.

I barely remember taking this picture of me and Quail Man

Now I just need to finish my costume for our work contest tomorrow!  I haven’t touched it since Friday. Luckily I work best under pressure ;-p

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

 Wow.  It’s been over a month since I last wrote something here!

I’d like to say that the reason that I haven’t posted anything new is just because I’ve been so ridiculously busy having fun and making waves in my life that I haven’t had time to think about this blog.

But that would be a lie.  I have mainly been unable to write anything that I thought was worth sharing.  I could write about being broke, I could write about how I feel like I'm going through some sort of transition in my personal behaviour, I could write about the potential love affair I almost had but that then turned awkward and weird... but all of those things just never felt right to write about or I couldn't wrap my head around them enough to explain what was going on.

Finally, I'm at a point where I have other stuff I want to write about - like sharing with you some of my plans and some of the things I've been ruminating on for the last few weeks.  But first, I just want to play a little game of catch-up.  

Because it is summer - and I have been having lots of fun.  Here are some picture highlights and quick captions from my last month:

June 22-24: Was a weekend of River!  The water was high as hell so we didn't get to go to some of my favorite places on the boat (because they were underwater) but we did an all-day/all-night river excursion on Saturday and spent Sunday floating above an island.

We were traveling super fast in this picture so it's all
kinds of blurry, but you get the idea!

Oh the muddy, muddy Mississippi

June 29-30:  A group of my friends went camping.  They were only about an hour away, so The Boss and I went up to visit them during the day.  As soon as we all arrived and as soon as everyone got their tents set up in poured rain.  After the rain stopped, we got to go tubing (some people call it "floating") on a flooded campground that had a river running through it.  We played on flooded playground equipment and even though I got a huge gash in my foot, I managed to not get dysentery.  And no one fried by the electrical transformers which were also flooded.

The campsite after we'd all been drenched with rain.

July 3-7: I had an awesome long holiday weekend.  Watched the fireworks on the 3rd.  Spent the 4th recovering from a night of drinking out of my "magic cup" that never held the same beverage twice and never went empty.  The 5th we went out on the river again and then we went out on the town that night. The 6th and 7th I spent recovering from the madness.

Definitely one of the best pictures ever taken of our rag-tag group (plus, we were right in front of where they
were doing the July 4th air show, so there's a pretty sweet airplane in the background)

My favorite group of party girls

When he's not busy carrying whole trees on his shoulders,
this boy likes to party with the girls (who can blame him,
did you see those hotties up there?)

July 12-14: A huge group of my friends went camping.  We drank something like three bottles of whisky/whiskey, 2 bottles of vodka and roughly 390 beers.  We went tubing on a nice, non-flooded river and I got to use my solo tent.  The weather was perfect so I didn't have to use my rain fly and was able to stare up at the stars all night long.  

Some of my favorite moments of the trip - 

• The first night was just a huge party where we were all happy to be there and to be with each other.  
• After roughly a million hours of drinking, our entire crew took a walk to the river where we stomped around in our non-swimming clothes and giggled a LOT.
• Falling asleep in my tent while admiring the endless stars above me.
• Tubing the next day - water, sunshine (well... a little bit of sunshine), beer and best friends, ahhh nice.
• The second night, sitting by the river at midnight, for hours, talking with some of my closest friends about some intense subjects and counting shooting stars.

And some of my favorite pictures...

My baby tent.  All screen = Soo many stars!

Playing in the river - beer in hand - backpack cooler - flashlight - giggles

This is what happens when I steal The Boss's camera

Those are some pasty, highly attractive SOBs

July 19-21:  We went to Chicago to celebrate Han's birthday.  We actually stayed in Rosemont on the outskirts of the city, so sadly I didn't actually get to go into the city - but we had a great time!  We went to an arcade filled with old school arcade games that were all set to free-play.  We played for hours.  We swam, went to the zoo and got heat exhaustion, but also saw some dinosaurs, and had a nice dinner at his aunt's house.

Because DINOSAURS

July 26-29:  One of my favorite coworkers/honorary little sisters got married Friday night.  It was a beautiful outdoor reception in the countryside.  She looked absolutely gorgeous and the weather was perfect.  Saturday, Sunday and Monday I spent time with my Swiss cousins who came to town!  More on this in a future post! It was the first time I'd met one of them and only the second time I'd met the other.  We had a great time together and enjoyed making jokes about weird things - like ice cream trucks driven by child molesters.

Aaaaand - that's about it!  So it's been a fun month.  I hope you're all having a great summer.

Much love,

Annie Jay

Moving is Hard Work

Speaking of reupholstering furniture… Remember this post?

This is what my love looked like just a couple of weeks ago:

You're lookin' a little droopy there, gumdrop.

Well look at my baby now!

Damn girl, you are lookin fiiiiine!

Isn’t she lovely?  I did that on Saturday.  Now I just need to pay someone to make myself a double-welt cord to cover all of the trim and pay someone to sew a new cover for the bottom cushion and it’ll be all done!  My goal is to have the double-welt applied before the actual move on March 23^rd, but let’s be honest, that’s so not going to happen.

Why isn’t that going to happen?  Because in addition to packing up my entire collection of furniture, clothing and random items so that I can have everything moved out by March 23^rd (so I can clean the Barpartment and prepare for Natalia and the Penguin to move into in on March 30^th) I also have a ton of other things going on in the next 10 days!

This Saturday is my bestie, Foxxi’s, Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party.  I’m very much looking forward to this!  We’re renting a (hopefully) fancy house in the beautiful Galena Territories and planning to drink our faces off, enjoy the hot tub and have altogether ridiculous girly times.  However, between making a cake, preparing all of the food (with assistance from Francesca and Prudence) and setting up for the event, my Friday, Saturday and most of Sunday will be taken up with non-moving related tasks. (and I have no idea what punctuation should be used to make that sentence grammatically correct so please stop judging me)

Then, next Thursday is Best Fest!  This annual fundraiser for the local hospice is not to be missed.  I’ve had my ticket for two months.  We go in and for three hours you get to sample the best food, drinks and products of the tri-state area – as much as you want.  From 5:30-8:30 next Thursday I will also be drinking my face off.  So again, not doing anything related to moving.  Friday morning/early afternoon will be spent recovering but then it’ll be down to business Friday night.

So, with all of this going on, I am going to have a total of 5 full night to pack everything.

HOLY SHIT.  *ahem* Ok, so that’s the first time I’ve really let that soak in. Deep breaths…deep breaths…

Monday night I started packing.  I filled one gigantic box full of books and realized it was too heavy for even Lou Ferrigno to carry down the flight of stairs out of the Barpartment so I gave up on packing for the night.  Because I’m responsible.

Last night, however, was much more successful! 

Yesterday morning I signed my new lease and got my key!  I can’t start moving things in until March 23 (and I can’t cheat because they have surveillance cameras everywhere – stupid secure building!) because my lease isn’t officially valid until April 1 and if I wanted to move in as of March 15 I could have for an additional half-month’s rent, which I just simply couldn’t afford.  But she told me I was free to go look around the place and take measurements, which is exactly what I did last night!  Natalia, Francesca and Han all went with me to get a glimpse at my new digs. 

And you know the good thing?  I still love it!  *Whew* That’s a relief.

So after the new apartment tour last night I sat down and got to work.  I got all of my books packed into reasonably sized boxes.  I also packed my shoes (minus a few pairs for the next week), DVDs, video games and all of my breakable décor.  Tonight I’m hoping to finish packing everything in my spare room, dining room, living room and bathroom (again, minus what I’ll need for the next 10 days).  That way I can get to work on my kitchen and bedroom over the next week, which are both bound to take a long time.

I’m trying to stay all Zen and not let the stress of moving get to me too much… but who am I kidding?  I thrive on stress!  If my head explodes and I never write here again, please remember how brilliant I think you all are and that my favorite flowers (for the funeral, duh) are calla lilies.  And I like pandas, please bury me with a panda.

Hugsnkisses,

Annie Jay

I Miss Smoking

Mmmmmmmm. Delicious.(Also, please let me know if this is
your picture, I couldn't find the source to credit it to)

It’s been around 5 months since I started quitting smoking cigarettes.  

At this point in time, I consider myself a nonsmoker. (YAY!)

Yes, I still have a puff or two if I’m out drinking, but I don’t count those because 1.) they almost always taste disgusting and, 2.) I think I’ll always allow myself a drag if I feel like I really can’t be without it – the stress of trying to completely say no to my urges is harder than having one puff and not enjoying it.  

Plus, my friends won't let me do more than take just one puff and sometimes they even deny me that.  Depending on the amount of alcohol I've had this either makes them amazingly awesome friends or the biggest dickfaces I've ever met.  When I'm sober I know it's a sign that we're growing up because we support each other in our attempts to kick the habit - it used to be that you'd say "Aww come on, it's just one drunken cigarette! You'll go back to quitting tomorrow!"

Which is just like what I do with heroin.  Just one little stick in the veins a week is ok, right?

That’s a joke.

We all know it's never just one stick with heroin.

Cigarette addiction not = Heroin addiction

Usually.

*ahem* Anyway...

The more time that passes I’m realizing more and more things that I miss about being a smoker.  If you’ve never been a smoker or if you didn’t smoke for a very long time or if you’re just, ya know, not me, maybe this list isn’t going to make any sense to you.  That’s ok, it makes sense to me.

Things I Miss About Smoking:

1. Having an excuse to stand outside in adverse weather conditions without people looking at you like you’re crazy.  I love to be outside in the rain or snow and I used to go outside for a smoke in order to enjoy the weather.  Now I’m just a freak standing in the snow/rain… not that that’s stopping me.
2. Having an excuse to roll my car window down in adverse weather conditions.  See above.
3. The Smoker's Patio.  I miss standing outside of bars and talking to people without having to shout over the noise of drunken frat boys playing Foosball or some half-cracked indie band trying to wow everyone with their lackadaisical tunes.  The Smoker's Patio outside of a bar is also a place where some of the best stunts and drunken hijinks take place.  At work, the smoke break is one of the best places to trade NSFW stories with coworkers.  Some of my best conversations have taken place and some of my best relationships have been formed on the Smoker’s Patio.
4. Giving uppity maafuckas that look.  Y'all know what I'm talking about.  You're standing outside having a smoke and some dickface walking by glares at you and fakes an obnoxiously loud cough.  You're obviously the scourge of the earth because you're smoking a cigarette.  You know cigarettes can kill you, right?  Obviously you're a dangerous maafucka and you should stop living and taking up space and resources that could be used by good people and kittens.  When I'd get that look, I'd smile my most "Yeah, I am that dangerous maafucka" smile at them (it's mostly in the eyes) and kind of shift my body in their direction.  Nothing, big.  Nothing threatening.  Just enough.  Just enough to make them think "Okay, I'm not gonna fuck with that chick.  I'd better go home and hug my babies and stop judging them based on their recreational activities.."
5. Smoking just looks cool.  I'm sorry.  I know.  I know.  In this day in age, we're not supposed to think smoking looks cool.  But it does.  It just fucking looks cool.  You're James Dean or Marilyn Monroe.  You're maafuckin President Obama.
6. Knowing what would kill me.  Lung cancer, emphysema, pneumonia.  All of those things were just waiting outside my door like "Hey, yo, we'll be there soon."  And I was all like "That's cool yo, I'll be waiting.  Just don't bring Dementia to the party."  Give me cancer, please don't take my mind from me.  None of the five billion diseases associated with smoking scare me half as much as the likelihood that I'm going to get Senile Dementia.  

So there are some things I miss about smoking. It's not everything.  Gods know it's impossible to put some of the feelings of withdrawal and "I'm losing my fucking mind" into words that other people can understand.  

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever stop missing smoking.  Probably.  Probably when it's been a longer span of time, or when I'm exposed to fewer people who smoke.

But just to remind myself, here's another list.

Things I Love About Not Smoking:

1. Asthma is less of a bitch. There's really no order to this list, I love all of these things in an indeterminate order.  Except this.  I love this SO much.  I can breathe.  Good gods - I. CAN. BREATHE.  Yes, it was stupid for an asthmatic to ever start smoking in the first place.  Yes I should've known better.  But I also started smoking to begin with so let's just stop those lectures right there.  Before I quit smoking I would have asthma attacks frequently.  But since I started quitting smoking, I've had only one asthma attack - in 5 months.  EFF YES.
2. Saving Money!  If I was crunched on money for a week I'd still have to make sure I set aside enough money for smokes.  Now, I am all like "Daaamn, look at all this mooooney!!"
3. Washing my hair less frequently.  (If you're not a girl, just skip this one.)  I already have dry curly hair.  The last thing hair like that needs it to be washed on a daily basis.  I used to stretch it for a couple of days but I knew that my hair was probably soaking up that cigarette stench faster than anything.  Now I can go a whole week without having to harsh out my hair with over-washing.
4. Singing.  I've been a singer since I was a little kid and my papa and I would go into the Music Room in our basement where all of his musical equipment was set up.  He'd play guitar, we'd both sing (to this day, this is one of my fondest memories).  I was in choir in school and extracurricular choirs from the time I was 7 or 8 until I quit school at 19.  I was a Soprano in high school and I lost my vocal range as soon as I started smoking.  I finally have it back! Now, when we go to the karaoke bar (which, let's face it is 1-2 times a week since Francesca works there) I don't have to hold myself back from singing certain songs that might be out of my range.  I even get complete strangers requesting that I sing certain songs for them and I don't have to turn them away.  I love to sing and I love the flexibility my vocal cords have once again!
5. I smell better.  And by that I mean my sense of smell is better.  Let's face it, with the allergies I have I am rarely able to smell anything, but since I've quit smoking I can actually smell things I never used to be able to.  Although there are times when this is not a positive change...
6. My purse isn't full of little tobacco flakes.  This is definitely something you won't understand if you're not a girl who has been a smoker.  But it used to be that any time I'd put anything in my purse it would come out with little tobacco leaves on it.  Cans of soda, pieces of mail, bottles of water, tissues - it'd all be covered in tobacco leaves.  Now, I can put anything in my purse and never have to worry about it picking up debris while it's in there.

There we have it!  I miss smoking - A LOT.  But I'm not about to forget all of the things I've gained now that I've quit.  

For those of you out there who still smoke, I feel ya and you've got no judgments from me.  In fact, you can expect to see me staring at you lustily every time you light up.

But if you want to quit - and yes, you really can't quit unless you really want to - I'm here for you.  We can stand outside in the snow/rain/hail and look like crazy people together.

Kissykissy,

Annie Jay

Yeah Baby, it's Monday!

Another weekend full of revelry has passed!  

We had The Boss's birthday party on Friday night.  It was a nice low-key affair at The House.  We played cards, drank scotch (well, I drank scotch anyway, others drank whatever they wanted) and giggled the night away.  I was at home and in bed by 12:30.  Saturday morning I woke up at 6am.  I don't know why my body has been doing this lately, but a night of drinking scotch followed up by a super early morning isn't the most fun thing to do.  

But I survived well enough to get myself showered and dressed for the day and to the salon by 9:30 so Natalia could cut my hair.  (My first haircut since July!) Right after my cut, Francesca, Prudence and I went shopping for a gift for our bestie, Kaatrina's baby shower.  After shopping, we went to the shower and got to see Katarina in all her pregnant glory.  She looks so adorable with her baby belly and I can't wait for my little niece to get here!!!  She's due April 4th and my birthday is April 3rd so I was telling her (yes, I was talking to the baby in Katarina's belly) to come out just a day early so we can be birthday buddies.  I already share with my favorite cousin and our grandpa, I'm very good at sharing my birthday ;-)

We also had Natalia's birthday party on Saturday night.  We had dinner, went out on the town, stopped by a friend's band practice and played around with drums and microphones.  We visited Francesca and karaoked    the rest of the night away.  I think I sang.  I'm pretty sure I sang.  I have some adorably blurry pictures from the evening.  We ended the night at the Barpartment with a few beverages and eventually sleep.  

Needless to say, I spent the entirety of yesterday on the couch with a blanket - but with visitors!  Francesca came by and worked on an art project for The Bear for Valentine's Day for a few hours.  She even brought me lunch!  Then Herbert came over and held down the other couch for a while.  I even got to see my darling Han, fresh back from his vacation to Las Vegas!  He came over and napped on the couch while I worked on an art project of my own. It was a nice day of doing absolutely nothing but with good laid-back company.  I didn't even change out of my pajamas until 6pm and I went to bed at 9.  It was quite the day.

In other news - My new boss is fantastic!  I'm not going to lie, I was a bit apprehensive about things the last few weeks.  But after a great meeting with him and my supervisor on Friday I feel 100% that he's a great fit for our company.  He's still letting me take the reigns on my training program that I've been wanting to redesign just as long as I make the underlying philosophy one that fits with his mission for our department, which I agree with 100%.  It's a very exciting time with all of the growth we're undergoing!

Tomorrow morning I'm going to fill out more paperwork for the apartment I'm hoping to get!  This means I might find out this week if I'm going to be able to get it!  If I find out this week, I estimate that I'll be able to move in March 1 or 15.  This could be a great month!

Have a fantastic Monday, friends!

Much love,
Annie Jay

H-E-Double Hockey Sticks!

Whew!  The last two weeks have been insanely busy for me.  I’ll talk about that and other important things later (like maybe two years weeks from now) but for now, I want to talk about fun things.

I’m going to a hockey game tonight! 

I remember going to hockey games as a kid and the highlight for me was trading Starburst with the other little girls so that I’d end up with all the red ones.  These things are were important.

I vaguely remember going to a hockey game several years ago with a couple of my guy friends.  We only went because I had won free tickets from… something… let’s just agree that those years are all a bit of a blur for me.  Before we went to the game we smoked copious amounts of…um… cigarettes.  Halfway through the first round (Period? Quarter? Trimester?) I was aching for some nachos and a nap.  We ended up leaving after the first thingie and going to smoke cigarettes and stare at the sky instead.

So I’m calling tonight my first ever hockey game!

We’re going to celebrate The Bear’s and Mr. Tightpants’s birthdays.  We’ll be hitting up a nearby restaurant before the game for delicious pitchers of Long Islands. 

As I might have made clear in the past, I’m not much of a sports person.  Ok, seriously, other than professionally cycling (which I only understand because my papa was in races every weekend when I was a youngin’) I know pretty much nothing about sports.

When Francesca and I lived together she hosted a Super Bowl party at our house and I was just like “Oh, sweet! Someone brought wings!” So the hockey game itself isn’t really drawing me there, mostly I’m just going for the drinking company.  My plan is to get a good buzz on before the first buzzer (GET IT?!?) and then continue on long into the night. 

Just in case I feel boredom creeping up on me I’m going to bring activities in my purse, like you do for toddlers when you’re taking them on airplanes.  Except I’m 27 and going to a loud hockey stadium thingie.  But still, activities are probably going to be necessary.

Hopefully I get to catch a fly-ball!

I hope you all have a lovely weekend,

Hugsnkisses,

Annie Jay

Happy Happies Everyone!

Oh hey! 

Happy New Year!  

I hope you all rang in the New Year in style, or in grungy t-shirts and sweatpants - whatever made you happiest! 

My own NYE was quite lovely.  I wore a cocktail dress and ankle-high motorcycle boots for the first part of the night.  Because I’m classy.  And because it was freakin freezing outside.  Don’t worry, I changed into attire-appropriate but seasonally-impractical footwear when I actually went out in public.

We had a nice low-key start to the evening at Sofie’s house where we played cards, watched Dick Clark’s rocking NYE, toasted the East Coast New Year and watched Jenny McCarthy possibly get herpes from a sailor. (yes, I’m sure it was lipstick) 

Then we headed downtown to the karaoke bar where Francesca was working.  If you have to work on NYE, you’d better hope that you; 1.) have friends that love you enough to not even think about celebrating the countdown without you; 2.) work at one of the most fun places in the tri-state area; and 3.) have awesome friends that will wait for you to serve other people their drinks before giving you your New Year’s kiss. 

Keeping with my tradition of the last…hmm… 3-8 years I kissed everyone at midnight.  Well, not that one guy.  But pretty much everyone else.  I even sneak-attacked Natalia with a kiss and got a love bite in return.  Ooo, tiger!

PS – I’m the one who gave Jenny McCarthy’s sailor all of those lip herpes.  You’re welcome.

I ended the night in the eastern den of sin and inequity, around 4:30am with my favorite gay men, a couple of my favorite straight men and several of my favorite women of undetermined sexual preferences.  There was a lot of dancing and a lot of kissing and snuggling.  I got a broken beer bottle stuck in my foot (which wouldn’t have happened if I would’ve kept the boots on) but didn’t bleed all over the place like the last time that happened (which is a story for another day).  It was really quite magical.

At the end of the night, I was alone and quite happy. 

Then I slipped and fell on the ice.  (Not due to drunkenness, I swear.  It was all the fault of those damn impractical shoes!) My skirt flew up above my shoulders and I’m pretty sure I did the splits. 

But I’m still calling it a win because I didn’t get a single bruise (I guess the plus side of all that holiday eating is that I’ve gotten a lot of iron).

All in all, I had a fantastic New Year’s Eve.

The last few weeks have been busy!  Work has been chaotic and life has been, well, let's just say it’s been chaotic as well (more on that to come later this week.  Maybe).  

And hangover-y.  Life has been really hangovery. Season of giving, yeah right.  Season of binge-drinking is more like it.

Yesterday when Francesca and Sofie came over to the barpartment before we went out to lunch I had to greet them by saying, “Please excuse my mess, the barpartment is hungover.”  There were still empty beer bottles from Saturday night sitting on the dining room table.  Yes, this was on Tuesday morning.  Don’t judge me.  I just hadn’t had time to deal with them yet, ok?  Ok, so they’re still sitting there. 

Nursing a month-long hangover is hard freakin work.

I was going to write a “year in review” post.  Then I realized there wasn’t a whole lot in 2012 that I wanted to review.  So instead I’m just going to say –

2013, let’s kick 2012’s ass this year, ok?

Hope you all had a fabtastical 2012!  Anyone have any particularly fun NYE stories to share?

Much love,

Annie Jay

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

I think I mentioned it earlier this week –

I LOVE THE HOLIDAY SEASON!

Tonight is my company Christmas Party and I’m totally amped.  I’m taking my partner in crime and potential future baby-daddy, Han.  Every single girl needs a platonic friend to be arm-candy for her when events come to call.  And he makes damn good arm-candy. 

I’m wearing a silky, one shoulder, knee-length dress that poofs out at the bottom in a black/silver/purple/white print with a sparkly blazer over top.  None of the sweaters or shrugs I had with it so I’m going to go a little funky with the blazer instead.  I still can’t wear heels because of my injured ankle, so I’ll be wearing my black sparkly sandals.  Other than those, I’m excited about my outfit.

I also made a new multi-strand sparkly necklace and set of earrings to wear tonight.  My hair is going to be barrel curled into my favorite fun and flirty look.  I opted not to color it, even though my (oh so numerous!) grays are showing through quite a bit.  I’m not sure why but I’ve kind of been enjoying the gray hairs lately.  (Who wants to bet that I’ll be over them and color my hair before New Year’s?) 

We also got our Christmas bonuses today! As the hours started ticking on I was a little afraid that maybe we’d be getting Griswolded this year, but our VP came around and delivered them to us with a smile on his face.  Twas wonderful!

This weekend I’m going to be doing all of my Christmas shopping.  For the most part, I’m going to do as much of it at locally-owned stores as I can.  Gotta support my community!  Now I just have to figure out what to get my parents and my brother.

I’m also going to finally get a fish this weekend.  I’ve had the fish tank set up for three weeks now and my tank desperately needs some fishies.  Time for me to commit to what kind of fish I want. 

But anyway – this post is about Christmas!  So, here are some things that I’m planning to do or have already done to ring in the season:

Holiday Baking!  My best girls and I already did our one-day Christmas baking extravaganza.  My treats were well-loved by my coworkers and disappeared in the span of just a few hours.  I have also made some mint oreo balls and plan to make pizzelles and fudge yet this year for my family Christmas.

Holiday Decorating!  I started to put my decorations up the date after Thanksgiving and was all done by the Monday after.  There are so many decorations all around my apartment, it’s so blissfully cheerful every day.  Here are a few of my favorite things:

RAWR!

I decorated it all on my own!

Because every tree needs a robot.

 Snow!  Mother Nature gave us some snow last weekend and I reveled in it.  Now, it’s all melted but I’m holding out hope that next week we get a ton of it.  I want a foot of snow in one night.  There’s nothing I love more than walking on the quiet city streets during a snowfall, listening to Christmas music.  Which brings me to…

Christmas Music!  I said it earlier this week that I’ve pretty much only been listening to Christmas music since Thanksgiving came and went.  But what I’m most excited for is Christmas eve and Christmas day listening to The Carpenters Christmas Portrait with my family when we celebrate.  I don’t think there’s ever been a better Christmas album.

Festivus! Every year on the night of December 23, my friends and I celebrate Festivus in the grandest tradition of the day!  With copious amounts of alcohol, the airing of grievances, feats of strength, ugly Christmas sweaters, holiday chanting and stumbling home at 4am to sleep for a few hours before family time begins the next day.

Christmas Eve!  Even though I live in the same town as my parents, I always stay at their house on Christmas Eve.  My brother, Clockwork, will be in town and we’ll be traveling to my Grandfather’s house that night to celebrate with my mom’s side of the family.  Then Clockwork and I will stay up late wrapping Christmas presents, watching Red Dwarf and giggling like 12-year olds.

Christmas Day!  Need I say more?  Mom, Dad, Clocky and I will be exchanging gifts, most likely early in the day, then heading to my aunt’s house for a nice lunch with some more family.  That night, if all goes according to plan, my former roomie and I will be drinking vodka and having a slumber party at the barpartment and staying up until 4am playing Kinect and acting like 12-year olds.  Christmas is pretty much the best time to act like a 12-year old.

New Year’s Eve -  UMM.  Hey, kids, what are we doing on New Year’s Eve? 

I hope you all have a fabulous Holiday Season too!  I’m sure I’ll be blogging more in the next couple of weeks but probably not quite as heavily as I have been lately.

Happy Holidays!

Annie Jay

P.S. – Can you tell I’ve had a lot of caffeine today?

P.P.S. – Can you tell I’ve been playing on Instagram?  Check me out.

P.P.P.S – Love me.

Wait Wait... Which Bar is Next?

*Disclaimer: This post is entirely about drunken antics.  If you don't like reading about mindless drunken antics - or if doing so makes you want to reach for a bottle of Jack right now - give this post about grudges and forgiveness a chance instead.  If you love reading about drunken buffoonery - read on!*

If you’ve been reading my posts for the last couple of days, you know I’ve been planning to tell you about Saturday and the fun times that ensued.  But now I’m sure I’ve built it up too much and when I tell you about it you’re going to be like “Really, this is what people do for fun in Iowa?”

Yes, yes it is.

I won’t get into all of the details because for the most part you just kind of had to be there.  But what happened is that 8 friends and I competed against 30 other teams in a downtown Pub Crawl/Scavenger hunt this last Saturday afternoon. 

Teams could be 1-6 people but we had 9 total so we decided to split into two teams and that we’d work together and then split the $500 grand prize.  Sure, $500 split 9 ways is only about $55 but we figured that if we won we’d at least be able to write the money spent at the bars that day off as a business expense.  Because drinking is a business when you do it the way we do.

Pretty much all day Friday was spent with mass emails racing back and forth about the plans for Saturday.  We decided that I would make lunch and have everyone over to the barpartment before the hunt so that no one would be drinking on an empty belly.  By the end of the day Friday, we were all so ridiculously excited.  I barely slept.  If you were checking the Facebook newsfeed for any of us Saturday morning you would’ve seen that we were all up early and taking care of our normal Saturday business so that we could devote the rest of the day to the mission.

At lunch, our typically boisterous group was subdued, like a group of soldiers preparing for battle.  We then carpooled downtown and went to the downtown bar, The Hub, to register at 1pm.  The next hour passed in flurry of activity as we registered, got our first beers of the day and The Hub filled with more teams for the hunt.  By the time it was all said and done there were about 30-40 teams.  Our teams were numbers 15 and 19. We had originally planned for both teams to go together but the rules sent us in different directions so we planned to meet up and compare answers before the closing ceremonies.

In case you’ve never participated in a Pub Crawl Scavenger Hunt (this was my first time), here’s how it works:

• Rule #1 – No driving.  Everything was within about a 10-block radius and you’d be walking no more than about 3 blocks between bars so taxis weren’t even needed.
• At each bar you would get a clue telling you what bar to go to next – This was very easy as they gave you a picture of the bar and a clue.  They knew they were creating a scavenger hunt for drunks.
• You also get a piece of paper with approximately 10 trivia questions at each bar.  These trivia questions could be about the history of the bar, about sports, about music – anything that relates to the bar itself.
• Then you have to take a picture with your team and one of the bar’s icons (for instance the giant painting of JFK on the wall at The Hub) and email it to the event organizers.
• We also had to take a picture of our team on the walking bridge across the highway (this is how they prevent you from just running across the highway while drinking – smart people organized this)
• They gave each team a mylar M&M balloon that they had to keep alive the entire night, this lead to many interactions with other teams trying to break each other’s balloons.
• They also spelled out the words “Bud Lights” (the hunt was sponsored by the local Anheuser-Busch distributor) and for extra credit you had to collect something that started with each letter. 

The extra-credit items were the most fun to collect.  We started off collecting somewhat mundane things but in the end we had some rather hilarious items.  Since one of the letters was “U” every team we ran into had at least one person who would come up to us and say “I don’t have any underwear on! I donated it to the cause!”  Oh, well, thank you for sharing. 

We opted not to go for underwear.  We went classy and got a urinal cake instead.  No no, we didn’t pry it from a urinal.  We asked our bartender friend to give us a fresh one.  At least I’m pretty sure that’s how it went down.  I wasn’t part of the process of procuring the urinal cake. 

I went classier and bought a Lifestyles Condom from a bathroom condom vending machine so we would have an “L”.  That’s me baby - all class, all the time.

Throughout the course of 5.5 hours, our team visited 10 bars, answered all of our questions, ate greasy bar food and came up with some great extra credit items. 

The highlights of the event:

• Seeing old friends I haven’t seen in years.
• Meeting new people.
• Playing with a lightsaber.
• My buddy Phin getting a tattoo in the midst of our hunt.  (We used “Tattoo receipt” for our extra credit “T”)  No seriously, this really happened.
• Running away from my team at one of our last bars.
• Finding our other team while I was running away from my own.
• Using the fire exit and setting off the alarm at one of the bars.  Twice.
• Sitting under a table with our other team’s Team Captain at the closing ceremony talking about what horrible Team Captains we are - right as they announced - 

WE WON! 

You would have thought that we had won the lottery with the way we were cheering. 

We collected our prize and ran outside to leap up and down with joy and count out our money.  And I mean we stood outside screaming out “20-40-60…” and on until we got to $500. 

We also might have set a world record for quantity, quality, and volume of "Woo"s in a 15-minute time frame.  Oh, who am I kidding? I didn't stop "Woo"ing until I fell asleep.

Then we went to the local karaoke bar to drink celebratory shots and to lift our voices up in joy.  I sang.  I don’t remember what exactly.  But I definitely sang. 

We were back to the barpartment by 11pm, enjoying leftovers from lunch and ready to pass out fall asleep. 

I’m sure this day doesn’t sound that extraordinary to a lot of people, but the all-day camaraderie and teamwork was just freakin fun.  Running all over downtown on our mission, meeting people we’d never met before, going to new places, spending time with people I love – it was just all freakin fantastic – all topped off by winning. 

And damn, do I love winning.

Highfives,

Annie Jay

Thursday is Officially the Most Random Day of the Week

Ever since Daylight Savings Time ended I’ve been feeling like the workdays just drag on.  So every time the weekend rolls around I get soooo happy!  But this weekend is even better! My big brother, Clockwork, is coming home to celebrate our mom’s birthday and Thanksgiving.  I can’t wait to spend time with my big bro :-)

Francesca and I had quite the interesting night last night.  We went for a drive in the countryside, in which I tried to tell her how much she means to me.  I said, “You know, Francesca, you’re an awesome friend.  I’ve been depressed and you brought me things to cheer me up and spent time with me.  I love you – you’re a great friend.”  Heartfelt.  Sincere.   That’s what I was going for, anyway.

But because Francesca is a cold and unfeeling cockface, she responded to my outpouring with raucous sardonic laughter and said “Really?  We’re going to do this?”  Well, I guess not.

We also had many margaritas and free chicken wings at a restaurant known for its free chicken wings on Thursday nights and for its lousy service.  (You can read about the first time we went there and how awesome we used to think it was if you click here.) We visited our friend, The Green Giant and played with his adorable pit bulls while his band played guitar riffs and talked about music.  I stole a baby from his spider plant as we walked out the door and then Francesca and I joked about how I had just raped the plant. 

Because rape jokes are only funny when you’re stealing spider plant babies.

After all of these adventures we ended up in the basement of my barpartment where we met friends for cheap beer and laughter.  What ended up happening goes against the content of the last two posts – because what happens when you say you’re going to take a break from dating? A cute (but significantly older) man strikes up a conversation with you at a bar.

Francesca and I had this conversation today:

Me:

So… was that guy last night cute or did I have major beer goggles on?

Francesca:

Too funny, I was just about to email you and ask about your new friend.  He was decent looking.  How late did you stay at the bar talking to him? 

Also, you raped a plant last night.

Me:

LMAO I went into my kitchen this morning (Which, by the way is an even bigger looking disaster after drunkenyl making Asian Cabbage Salad at 1am in the morning  for my work potluck today.) and saw my little spider plant seedling sitting in a cup of water to sprout and I was like “Oh yeah, that’s right.  I pillaged a plant of its baby last night.”  I wonder if they have separation anxiety… 

And I was in the bar until about 12:15 talking to him.  Then I said I had to call it a night and he walked out with me.  I went to my car to get the stuff for my cabbage salad (which I almost had forgotten about) and he walked with me.  He asked for my phone number and then we hugged.  I think he wanted to kiss me but I dodged it – I’m not a kissing hussy… most of the time.  We’ll see if he texts me.

Francesca:

LOL nice.  I thought you were “taking a break” from dating – like, as of yesterday.  Then you go and give your number out!

Me:

1. He asked me for it.  I did not “give it out”.  You make it sound like I’m walking around with a billboard that says: “TO DATE ME, CALL: 563-XXX-XXXX”

2. I didn’t kiss him.

3. I will not pursue anything with him, but if he pursues me, what’s a girl to do?

Francesca:

4. Plus, he was cute.

Me:

Right??

Francesca:

And you were talking guns with him at the bar.

Me:

Hahahaha I am a charmer, thankyouverymuch.  I actually forgot about that.  I need to use that as a conversation starter again…if only I could remember how that conversation got started… but I know it ended with me showing him the picture of us with like 5 billion guns.

Francesca:

I really wanted to stay in bed this morning and was totally jealous that The Bear got to go back to bed.  Jerk.

Me:

The Bear didn’t have to work today?  That’s good since he was dancing to Gangnam Style – outside the front door of the bar.  By himself. 

Francesca:

Yes, that is the man I love - dancing to Gangnam Style outside of a bar on a Thursday night at 10pm. 

Me:

You two are perfect for each other.

So our security system is acting up and the reactions are hilarious.  This morning we got an email telling us the doors on first floor weren’t unlocking so if you were down there and wanted to come up you should use the elevator.  So Rachel wasn’t very happy about this because, you know, she’s afraid of spontaneously becoming pregnant and giving birth while trapped in an elevator.  She also said “I hope they’re fixed by 3 so we will be able to leave!” I explained that we can still get out.  

This afternoon we got an email telling us the elevator isn’t working either.  So now everyone is freaking out about not being able to leave.  I pretty much yelled at everyone and said, “This place isn’t the Hotel California, people!  Calm down!” 

Francesca:

You can clock out anytime you like, but you can never leave!

~~~~~~~~~

Have a great weekend everyone!

Kissykissy,

Annie Jay